Insufficient Data

I have officially filed my latest UFO field investigation as "Complete: Insufficient Data." I figure if a guy never answers my calls, never returns my messages, and lets his voicemail inbox get full, he's not interested in talking to me. Either that or he's had a medical emergency, like the guy in my first case. Whatever. Either way, I have to cut them off sometime. I'm not made of time, you know? If I waited around for every reluctant witness to decide to talk to me, I'd never solve the UFO mystery.

So it looks as though the world may never know what the witness' daughter took pictures of in the skies above Milwaukee at 9:45 pm on August 19th. Is that a bad thing? Don't ask me; I'm already looking forward to my next case!

To fill the time while I'm waiting, I decided to see if the September issue of the MUFON Journal is available online. You may recall that there were two bombshell announcements to be made at last month's MUFON UFO Symposium 2012 in Cincinnati, but that MUFON's International Director would not tell me what they were when I asked him, even though the Symposium was already over. Remember, this is the same guy who wouldn't send me an alien detector last summer because they're "dangerous and expensive." He is just programmed to say no to anything I ask him for, and to be honest I am having a hard time considering him my "leader." Anyway, after refusing to share the announcements with me after they had already been made, he told me I would have to wait to read about them in the September issue.

Okay, fine, be that way. They're probably stupid announcements anyway. But I checked tonight, and instead of getting the September issue of the Journal, I got this:

FORBIDDEN

You don't have permission to access /install.php on this server.

Apache/2.2.3 (CentOS) Server at ejournal.mufon.com Port 80

"Don't have permission?" Jesus, what am I, trying to break into Area 51? I'm just trying to read the damn Journal. That I paid for. With my annual dues. In other words, "Herr Direktor," I am entitled to view the Journal anytime and anywhere I flipping want to, and you can look it up in your damned Director's manual if you don't believe me.

So, not a happy posting tonight. Not happy at all. And I feel I owe you better than this. So here's what I'm going to do. The other day my State MUFON Director sent out this UFO cartoon that I will share with you now, in the hope that it will wash the bitterness of this post away...

Here it is:

Haha... er... Oh, wait, that's kind of laced with bitterness too, isn't it? Damn. Some days you just can't win.